Donnie is dead..

From: Anonymous


PREFACE: My husband C used to work for a trucking company in town & enjoyed talking with a co-worker named Donnie. Donnie was not a churchgoer & had a potty mouth the size of 3 porta-loos. C used to witness to him at various times & was in general his buddy. After approximately 8 months, C moved on to another job & had not kept in touch with Donnie at all.
Keep in mind that this story is only funny after you have gotten over the shock of the embarrassment.

My husband (34) & I (25) are dedicated members at our church & are used to doing many things that support other members such as attending funerals, ball games, graduations, etc.
One church member's brother had passed away & even though we didn't know him we went to the funeral to be a help to 'Wendy'.
In true fashion my husband was running late getting ready that day so we slipped into the funeral just as they were closing the casket so we were not able to view the body, as is a Southern funeral tradition.
We sat quietly on the back row as the minister spoke for about 45 minutes about 'Donald' & what a tremendous person he was. (Keep in mind that many funeral ministers embellish when a person passes on. Everyone tends to go on to the portals of Glory to grace Jesus with their presence even though they were bank robbing-cigar smoking-booze drinkin'-gamblin' fool- deadbeat daddy/mommy- heathens & many times you wonder if you are attending the correct funeral)
After the funeral was over, C & I exited to the waiting room to wait for Wendy to come out from saying her goodbye's with the family. She came to us & hugged us with a sniffle & choked up throat. She thanked us for coming & then introduced us to her sister. The following conversation went like this:

Wendy: 'Thanks so much for coming. I really appreciate it'
Us: 'We are so sorry for your loss.'
Wendy: 'This is my sister, 'Mary'
Us: Exchanged pleasantries with Mary.
Wendy: 'Mary, this is C that used to work with Donnie. Donnie really thought a lot of C.'
C: (Gets a really big surprised smile on his face) 'Oh yeah! I forgot Donnie was your brother!'
Wendy: 'He really liked you.'
Mary: Silent but smiling.
Me: Silent but smiling.
C: (Can't stay silent & is smiling) 'Oh my gosh, I haven't seen Donnie in a long time! How is Donnie doing?'
Mary: Mouth hanging open.
Wendy: Staring blankly.
Me: Bad feeling in pit of tummy.
C: Still smiling.
Wendy: 'C.....Donnie is dead.'
C: (Smile goes slowly to a frown as he realizes that the 'Wonderful, God-Fearing man Donald' is the same as 'Potty-Mouth Donnie who puts wine in his cereal')
Me: I closed my eyes. I remember thinking, 'Oh my God. Did my husband just say that?'

I wished silently to melt into a puddle & let the carpet soak me up. There is really no good way to end this story, as you imagine we were all horrified at this terrible situation. There was no way to recover. We didn't even go on to the burial, we were both so humiliated.
But, as all humiliating & embarrassing stories go, they can't die down without being told. My oldest brother still greets C at family get togethers by looking him dead in the eyes & saying, 'C....Donnie is dead.'
Needless to say, every Sunday when we see Wendy at church C smacks his head & relives the whole situation over again. It's like the embarrassing moment that just won't go away.

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