Not gonna get it after all..

From: Anonymous


So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.

20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room. I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.

Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!

Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!

Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!

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Comment on this embarrassing moment!



Comments

  • differentgurl: lol wtf
    differentgurl
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    lol wtf
  • me
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    i was in my room when i was 14 and was rely horny, so i tried masturbating for the 1st time. i'd researched how 2 do it on the internet computer in kitchen when no one was home . It felt rely gud and when i was climaxing i gushed out cum all on the sheets. i was scared i get caught so i panicked and ran to the kitchen to get some bounty and cleaned it up. then, i put on my pants and decided to go out for some air, and calm down. i went to the drugstore in the area to get some crisps and pop and one of the girl that’s a friend in my neigborhood (Sara) was there with her mother. i said hey and she was like hey, and then she says, what’s that all over your shirt? I was like where and she ran her finger over it and was like, ew is that drool? I said, hell no and looked down and there were drops of cum all over my tshirt! i was tried 2 laugh and said no, it must have been
    from the glue gun, and left immediately, my face in flames. It didn’t end there, though. 2 weeks later, no one was home bc my parents had gone for their anniversary so I tried rubbing one out in the living room. My pants were almost all the way down to my knees and I was standing in behind the couch which is beside the narrow peek through windows on either side of the front door. I was getting rely into it, wen the door bell rang. Instinctively I turned and then fell back on my ass, also hitting the back of my head, and my hand getting one last accidental yank. I freking came right there, and Sara was the one at the door! I don’t remember ever being that embarrassed bc she was staring at me with wide sauser eyes, and saw the whole thing! I tried to pull my boxers back on and that’s wen she ran away. I haven’t spoken to her for two years, bc each time we see each other, that’s wat we remember. Recently she started talking to me a bit though, mostly because weve seen eachother a lot during summer vacation now, but I don’t think she ever forgot. I kind of like her, but I’m worried if I ask her out she’ll bring it up or reject me bc of it.
  • John Craig
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    Well...I was 13 at the time and me and a few friends went to the swimming complex with all the plumes and wave pools etc. We all decided to dare each other 2 times each. Some of the dares were, dive of the top board, take your shorts off under water for 30 seconds. Then it was me turn, as we approached the top of the stairs to enter the slides, Kevyn said, I dare you to let us pull your shorts down. I said no, but they did it anyway and it was glass all round so both people outside and in the queue could see my penis. I had barely started puberty, so my penis was still small, i had little pubic hair and my balls hadn't dropped. I went down the slide head first but as I was about to go, Paul grabbed my shorts and pulled them off me and said it was my forfeit for mot wanting to do the dare. So I was going down the slide naked and to make matters worse, Paul put my shorts down the other slide which ended at the opposite end of the complex so I had to run naked past everyone in the pool to get my shorts.

    HUMILIATING to say the least. Then my next dare was to try to take off a girls bikini top and then touch her breasts. Well, she caught me and turned round and slapped me on the face and then punched me in balls. It didn't hurt me because my balls hadn't dropped and when she seen it didn't hurt me, she put her hands down my shorts, pulled my "3 piece suite" out of the water and began to scratch it with her sharp nails until the lifeguard caught her and told her to stop.

    Its not finished there, when we were getting changed - in open plan changing rooms with no cubicles, my friends said I was embarrassing for not doing any dares and they would have to give me one last dare to be my friends again. I unwillingly agreed, they took my locker key, took my shorts off and emptied my locker. They went and gave the girl who I mentioned earlier my clothes and asked her to lock my stuff in a locker in the girls changing room. I had 5 minutes to get the courage to go into the girls changing room naked and ask the girl, who I tried to strip earlier to give me my clothes back.

    I now have ditched my friends and believe it or not, I am going out with the girl who I tried to strip. They are so jealous.
  • Anonymous: lies.
    Anonymous
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    lies.
  • Anonymous: a sock?
    Anonymous
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    a sock?
  • Anonymous: sure...
    Anonymous
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    sure...
  • Anonymous: ewwwwwww
    Anonymous
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    ewwwwwww
  • bailey: scorre
    bailey
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    scorre
  • Seach
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    Do you really expect us to believe that...
    come on u just copy an old joke and made it an history..you change it a lil but is the same...a guy go to other's house he feel liek shiting and do it in a sock,the sock have a hol and the shit go off the sock...
    seriouly man get ur oun fucking histories...
    LOOSER
  • Zara: Lmao!!...
    Zara
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    Lmao!!
    omg unlucky!!