So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.
20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room. I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.
Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!
Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!
Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!