Made up girlfriend

From: Steve E

One of my most embarassing moments was a couple of years ago when I was in the 11th grade at high school.

I was 19 at the time (having been held back a couple of times) and all of the school friends I had grown up with had graduated, leaving me in a class with no one I knew.

To make a long story short, I ended up telling a whole lot of lies and stories so that people would think I was popular and only got held back, not because I was stupid, but because I couldn't be bothered to study enough and failed my final exams for the year.

One day after lacrosse practise, the team was sitting in the change rooms discussing girlfriends and such (the general macho bragging that guys get up to in the showers and change rooms) and for some reason they asked me who my girlfriend was. Now, I was a pretty quiet person (aside from my occasional bouts of irrepressible fibbing), and this conversation had me very nervous because I didn't have a girlfriend but I had mentioned to a couple of people that I did, so I tried to fob it off by pretending I didn't hear anyone talking to me (you'll realise that's a pretty stupid thing to do if you have ever been in a boys locker room after practice because they will keep on hounding you until you answer) so when they asked me again, I had to make something up. I looked through my locker and found a photograph of me and my sister at our cousin's wedding, and since none of them had met any of my family, I lied and said that she was my girlfriend (my sister is quite an attractive girl, never going long without a boyfriend).

Anyway, that satisfied them, and nothing was mentioned about it for a few weeks until we our lacrosse finals at my school park. The whole school was in attendance because it was the first time that we had made it to the finals in about 10 years, and most of the students had brought their families along as well. My family was seated with the families of the rest of the team in one of the grandstands near the middle of the field and behind the official podium.

The match was a wild one with a deadlock right down to the final whistle but luckilly, just before full time, one of our team scored a really crafty goal and we won by one point. Afterwards, as the tradition goes at our school, the girlfriends of the team come down onto the field and give the players a drink and a kiss. One of the team who was in reserve went around the grandstand with a microphone and spoke to each of the girlfriends about how they thought the team played. Suddenly, I froze in terror because I remembered the conversation in the change rooms from weeks before and how I had shown everyone a photo of my sister saying that she was my girlfriend. When the microphone reached my family, these exact words were spoken (he asked everyone's girlfriend the same question), "Steve tells us you are his girlfriend. How do you think that he played today, and what reward are you going to give him for winning?"
Then my sister replied, "Um, I'm not his girlfriend. Steve's gay and I'm his sister."

When I woke up, I was in the school hospital wing and some members of the team were there with me. They were all having a great old time laughing at my display and when I returned to school after the weekend, everyone started calling me the Incest Queen.