Stupid Santa Hats

From: Slappy Hernandez


I worked in a deli in a grocery store for a couple of years. It was adjoined to the seafood department. The seafood manager was a spunky, little, elderly lady, whom I loved. Sometimes she annoyed me, though.

On Dec. 1st of that year, she brought these retarded Santa Hats, and we were told we had to wear them. I angrily put mine on. It looked like a baseball hat, but came up to a point, like a Santa hat....worst of all, it had an annoying, little bell on the end. The tip of the hat would flop around and Id go to pick something up, and get smacked in the face with the jingle bell. We were already the laughing stock of the store, and now the stupid hats.

Well, one morning, I was going to ring up a totally stuck-up department manager and one of his lapdogs at the register. They apparently thought they had been waiting too long, and started coughing to get my attention. I quickly walked to the register. Right in front of the case, there had been a greasy spill that nobody had cleaned up. I slipped, fell right to my knees, and worst of all, the dang jingle bell swung forward and smacked me in the forehead, making a loud jingle sound. I tried to regain my composure, eventhough I was completely humiliated. The stuck-up manager and his pal just looked at me like I was crazy. I was so frickin embarrassed. My hatred for the jingle hat had been refreshed.

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