My Mother...Sometimes, You Just Gotta Laugh

From: lisalee


My mother tends to tip the bottle quite often. Thankfully, she does most of this at home and out of the public eye, but sometimes....Ughhh!!

My elderly grandfather, my mothers father, died in June. We had the usual Catholic pomp and circumstance funeral. Shortly after the funeral there was to be the reading of the will. The event seemed most assuredly absurd. This man and his wife raised eight children in a three bedroom flat above the grocery store he owned. So the "reading of the will" was to be tongue in cheek, after all, with life above the store and eight kids to raise, what kind of assets could a man like that attain? Well, unknown to his children, apparently he acquired quite a bit and the aunts and uncles were quite shocked. My uncle, the executor of the estate, decided that they would sit on the cash until my grandfathers next birthday, which was the following November, at which time, they would take the entire family out for a huge "birthday" celebration and divy up the cash the next day.

So on the night of my deceased grandfathers 87th birthday, we gathered in a private room within a swanky local restaurant. The alcohol was flowing freely that evening and my mother was feeling no pain. She needed to go to the restroom and I accompanied her. On the way, we had to pass through the main dining room. As luck would have it, an aquaintance of my mother was dining with her family. She saw my mother and called out to her. My mother quickly staggered over, dragging me close behind. They traded pleasantries and the woman asked my mother if she was with the large party in the private room, to which she replied that she was. This was followed by the query as to what the celebration was for. My mother told the woman we were celebrating my grandfathers 87th birthday. The woman inquired, "How nice, and how is your father?" My mother, swaying with the alcohol and in tune to the Muzak overhead, dead-panned and replied, "Oh, hes dead." I nearly fell over! The look on the womans face was priceless!

To make matters worse, we finished our business in the restroom and headed back to the party, again, through the main dining room. I held my mothers elbow and made a beeline for the party-room so she wouldnt be tempted to stop and chat. Just as we were approaching the door to the room and thinking we got through the dining room unscathed, my mother dropped her purse. I stooped to pick it up and upon arising, it was then that I noticed my mother had her skirt tucked INTO her panythose and to boot, she was NOT wearing underwear!!! We had walked across the entire length of the dining room with her bare ass hanging out!! Only my mother! Sometimes, you just gotta laugh!

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