Campsite Meltdown!

From: Anonymous

As a kid, many years ago one summer, I was with my family on a camping holiday, and found myself wandering slowly up the hill one afternoon, towards the out house that was built for the campers to relieve themselves in. It certainly wasn't very far away, or hard to reach for that matter, but for whatever reasons on that fateful afternoon, I had been putting off the trip for long enough and was now feeling the true call of mother nature, as Number two was in his Eleventh hour, and with no turning back or postponing this event, It slowly dawned on me, that I was indeed, in dire need of a crap, and with a very sudden sense of immediacy!

Needless to say, half way up that hill, with the realization that I'd put off this appointment with the outhouse for too long, it dawned on me that I was not going to make it. My walk turned into... a slow walk, and from a slow walk into shuffle, and from a shuffle into a complete standstill as not more than 50 yards from the outhouse, a destination that at that time seemed infinitely far away, well, lets just say I didn't quite make it.

I did however reach the out house, and once there, removed my underwear, sure that my mother would not be eager to try her hand at removing *these* stains, and with the door locked, slung them down the hole forever, finished with Number 2, and feeling fresh as a daisy (well..almost, considering! ) made my way back to the campsite.

If you think this story might be hard to believe (Which I SWEAR is true, and unfortunately lives on as THE story of ALL funny and embarrassing stories within my family) just wait till I finish...

That very afternoon, about 10 minutes later in fact, I made it back to the campsite, and could tell that my sister was in good spirits, and again, for whatever reason, decided that I had to share this sacred epic with her. SHE however, had a story of her own, and insisted that she tell hers first. Far as I can remember, we spent ages laughing and insisting that OUR stories were funnier, and had to be told first, and in the end, I think I won the debate and got to tell mine first.

Her story? Yup, you might find it hard to believe, but at the VERY same time that day, that Number 2 found his way into MY drawers, you guessed it, somewhere on that campsite, feeling safe where no one would hear her fart, she met the same fate. Probably in the 10th hour or so, and not quite so dire, but somewhere out there in the woods or wherever she thought no one would hear her, she blew the sucker out, and followed by the fart was HER Number 2! SHE however, was wearing her swim suit, and did not have the luxurious opportunity of throwing it away and "Pretend like nothing happened!"

We spent the best part of half an hour in the tent in hysterical fits of laughter, unable to believe our, own and each others fates. Something was wrong with the camp food our mother made!