Thats Embarrassing

My cousin : The Jerk

From: Mark


hi, im 14 and im going to tell you a really embarrassing thing that happened to me the other day.

My mom and dad were going to my grandma's for an adult dinner and they asked my cousin Scott to babysit me.

They told him that he was to tell them if I misbehaved and I would get a spanking from each of them.

Now, Scott is 19 and he's a complete jerk...

The day of the dinner came and scott came round. My parents said goodbye to me and off they went. Scott sat down and asked me what I wanted for dinner. I suggested eating out, so he drove us to a little restaurant which had a small show going on and i was pleased.

We ordered and when the food came I forgot to say thank you and I also burped.

Scott, being a jerk, told me that he was gonna tell my parents that I was rude to the staff and that he would make sure i was punished.

I said "oh yeah? how?" then he walked off...

I saw him talking to the waitress and then came back smirking.

The waitress walked over to the phone and called someone.

About half an hour later and we had just finished dessert a woman on the stage asked if me and scott could go up.

I was reluctant but Scott dragged me. When we were there, scott sat down on a chair and pulled me over his lap.

Then he said "To all of the little boys and girls who aren't behaving here...i wanna let you know what you get for being bad."

He pulled down my tracksuit bottoms and underwear began to slap my butt. There was a mixed reaction to this act of discipline and my butt was starting to go red when the doors opened and someone screamed :

"Mark Paul Thomson, I thought I told you to behave?!" - there at the door was my mom and dad and they started walking towards me. They walked up the steps and onto the stage grabbed me by the ear and walked me down to the floor. They then took me to the waitress and told me to apologise. Then came the worst part. They were going to let that waitress spank me in the kitchen!!

My heart dropped as I couldn't believe that i was being spanked for doing nothing wrong.

I was dragged (by my ear) to the kitchen and forced over her lap. She then grabbed a spatula and hit me on the butt 30 times (i know the amount cos i was made to count them)

After the third one I was in tears. when she was done my mom grabbed my collar and pulled me through the restaurant and out of the door.

When we got home i went straight to bed. i got a spanking of my dad the next morning and one off my mom that afternoon.but the worst one was being spanked in front of all those people

My cousin hasnt let me forget it since by slapping my butt once everytime he sees me..The jerk.

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Comments

  • someone
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    ur parents are mean!
    i dont know how its at your place but my folks wouldnt even dare that!
    cant u just take down ur parents and revolt or something?
    Reply
  • Austin: ...
    Austin
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    Sounds as though you have to put up with a bunch of JERKS in your family!!
    Reply
  • Anonymous
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    FROM : zulaikha (2005-01-17 @ 15:35:12)
    i would say he is more than a jerk. He should be thought a lesson. And that was not at all funny. Even if he was given the authority he should not have taken advantage of the situation. I say teach him a lesson for lying and being so MEAN..

    ...And your parents too!! What kind of idiots would threaten any kind of punishment and not make good & sure it was deserved?! They're all lucky you aren't like me, man... there would be blood!!
    Reply
  • Alan
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    Oh, wow! I also have a cousin, Scott, who is a total jerk. He is now 57, and it's hard to imagine an adult human being who is so incredibly clueless about everything. This bozo has a master's degree from the University of Maine, which says a mouthful about that institution. I can't begin to describe how out of touch with reality this clown is -- ya gotta see it to believe it!

    In his defense, I must say that his parents played a large part in his being so fucked up. His late father was a latent homosexual who thought his only son should be a major-league ball player. So he spent countless hours throwing baseballs at Scott's head to teach him not to be afraid of the ball. Yeah, right!

    Scott had only one talent which was music -- he was a natural, who could play piano by ear. But his parents thought he should be something more cerebral than a musician or choir director -- something like an engineer. But Scott could hardly do simple math, so that didn't work out too well. His father, with an associates degree, fancied himself and "engineer," so it was only natural that his gifted son should follow in his footsteps and even exceed him in this noble pursuit. Screw the music, Scott was destined for finer things.

    So he became a teacher up in the great State of Maine. It's hard (and scary) to imagine this goofball up in front a class of children, but there he was. This lasted a couple years before the dim-witted Maine-iacs figured out this fool couldn't cut it.

    So then he went on to a stellar career with the U.S. Postal Service. (Ever wonder why the mail is fucked up?)

    I mentioned his father the closet queen, but his mother's attitudes about sex also helped craft his psyche. When she finally got around to toilet training him about the age of four, I can remember him standing in front of the toilet to pee, and when he reached down to grab his little dick, his mother (in her infinite wisdom) admonished him saying, "Never touch your wee-wee button." Gimme a fucking break, how is he supposed to get that thing in and out of his pants to take a leak?

    I can also remember her telling how Scott came home from school in the 7th grade and told her he needed to have a jock strap for P.E. Her comment to him was, "What? For your little thing?" This she told an assembled group of relatives one evening when Scott was present.

    Now there's a confidence builder for you. Whoa! No wonder the boy is seriously fucked up.

    All this is only the tip of the iceberg; you've got to experience Scott to appreciate the depth of his ignorance, cluelessness and other-worldliness. But maybe this gives you a hint of what my cousin the jerk is actually like.
    Reply
  • AllyPallyPooPaa!: ohhh u poor thing xxxxxxxxx...
    AllyPallyPooPaa!
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    ohhh u poor thing xxxxxxxxx
    u reli need 2 get him back! may i suggest locking him outside naked (always a good one) or maybe putting all his undies in water n then in the freezer? good luck xx
    Reply
  • Anonymous
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    This is not in the least bit funny... this is abuse. 3 simple steps:

    1. Talk to someone
    2. buy gun
    3. shoot mum, waitress, dad and cousin.

    That waitress's behaivour was totally unproffessional. If I were you, I would go back to the restaurant or cafe or ring them up or whatever and talk to the owner or manager about what she did. That was totally unproffessional, and if I was her employer I would fire her immediately.

    I also think you should talk to a trusted family member (not mum, dad or cousin) and tell them what happened. It was not okay for your cousin to lie like that when he was in a position of trust... It was also not okay for your parents to hit you like that. That is not funny... it is abuse. It is illegal.
    It is an act of violence and humiliation and that is never okay.

    Besides, if you really are fourteen, you don't need a babysitter... you are legally old enough to stay home without one.
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  • Curtis
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    Can't your parents hold their drink? That is abuse. It isn't funny, and abuse is NEVER okay. You forgot to say thankyou and you burped. Oh yeah. Big deal. Besides, the law says you don't need a abaysitter when ur 14 unless you have some extremely serious medical condition like epilepsy or something where it's dangerous to be left on your own.

    I also think you should report to the waitress's employer (if he or she doesn't know already) that she did that. That is unproffessional behaviour.

    What your parents did was completely unacceptable. Same with the waitress. Same with your cousin. You need to realise that and do something about it.

    That wasn't funny at all, and I shall personally kick the arse of any pussy who laughs at it okay?
    Reply
  • Marion Wilson
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    That's not funny at all.
    That is abuse.
    You should talk to someone about it.
    Your parents and cousin humiliated you. I am disgusted with the three of them - actually, the four of them if you include the waitress. Why didn't you tell them that all you did was burp (and that could happen to anyone) and forget to say thankyou? That is assault and assault is illegal. Go talk to a teacher at school about it - they can help you there.
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  • Anya
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    omg r u fur real?!?!?! i am soooooo sry for u god i would have just not went anywhere i would have ran god that must really suck and u r 14 man i feel so sry for u. why would u need a babysitrer at 14 i am 14 and i hadn't had a babysitter sience i was like 9. dude ur parents need to relize that they r tottaly jerks and ur cosion i would have punched his damn lights out (sry if i mispelled anything i can't type worth crap)
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  • Sweet Revenge.
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    Get a sharp Knife..., Wait until Scott is asleep..., Sneak up on him..., And castrate his sorry scrotum off of him. Run away laughing and show Mom and Dad. Rape the waitress and leave Scott's scrotum and balls there to frame him. He goes to prison and gets buttfucked by a guy named Bubba, who turns out to be his biological father. Becomes asnally pregnant and delivers an asshole baby who they name Mark Paul Thompson, after you, who made it all possible.
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  • hi
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    Don't tell me you all BELIEVE this LOAD of MALARKY!!! NO restaurant would EVER go along with that (public nudity...spanking...in a restaurant? GET REAL!!) And no parents would EVER do that in front of all those witnesses (hello! Police would have been called!!!) and NO waitress would randomly beat a kid with a spatuala just because "the mom told me to." GET REAL! This is some guys sick fantasy of getting publically spanked! And who gets babysat at 14????
    Reply