Cramming it in

From: Lori

About four weeks into dating a guy, I had him over to watch a NASCAR race. The race was into the final laps when i went out to the kitchen to get a Coke.

On the way back into the living room I let a "silent but deadly fart". I knew I could get away with it because was silent and 2.the new boyfriend was interested in the race and 3.the T.V was pretty loud.

Boy, was I wrong. As I walked into the room the nauseous smell followed me. I sat down on the couch like nothing had happened. All of a sudden the smell hit both of us. Of course, him being the nice guy, he just looked at me like he couldn't believe what he smelled but he didn't say anything.
Good, I got away with it, I secretly thought.

Just then while drinking from the Coke can, the announcer of the race says" Busch really has to worry about running out of gas in these last laps. I start choking trying not to laugh and all of a sudden Coke is coming out of my nose. Then to make matters worse, I puke some of the Coke on the floor. The new guy is looking at me like he is dating the most disgusting woman in the world.

I get up from the couch and run to the bathroom. I compose myself and go change my pants, because what he didn't know was i peed myself while laughing, choking and puking.

When I came out of the bedroom from changing I was still laughing, telling him that he has just see me do four of the things I thought he'd see after we'd been together for a long time.

A puzzled look on his face, he said he knew three but what was the fourth. Of course I tell him.

He didn't last as a boyfriend but I still laugh about that day.