Embarrassing Family Story - My cousin : The Jerk

My cousin : The Jerk - Thats Embarrassing!!

Submitted By : Mark

hi, im 14 and im going to tell you a really embarrassing thing that happened to me the other day.

My mom and dad were going to my grandma's for an adult dinner and they asked my cousin Scott to babysit me.

They told him that he was to tell them if I misbehaved and I would get a spanking from each of them.

Now, Scott is 19 and he's a complete jerk...

The day of the dinner came and scott came round. My parents said goodbye to me and off they went. Scott sat down and asked me what I wanted for dinner. I suggested eating out, so he drove us to a little restaurant which had a small show going on and i was pleased.

We ordered and when the food came I forgot to say thank you and I also burped.

Scott, being a jerk, told me that he was gonna tell my parents that I was rude to the staff and that he would make sure i was punished.

I said "oh yeah? how?" then he walked off...

I saw him talking to the waitress and then came back smirking.

The waitress walked over to the phone and called someone.

About half an hour later and we had just finished dessert a woman on the stage asked if me and scott could go up.

I was reluctant but Scott dragged me. When we were there, scott sat down on a chair and pulled me over his lap.

Then he said "To all of the little boys and girls who aren't behaving here...i wanna let you know what you get for being bad."

He pulled down my tracksuit bottoms and underwear began to slap my butt. There was a mixed reaction to this act of discipline and my butt was starting to go red when the doors opened and someone screamed :

"Mark Paul Thomson, I thought I told you to behave?!" - there at the door was my mom and dad and they started walking towards me. They walked up the steps and onto the stage grabbed me by the ear and walked me down to the floor. They then took me to the waitress and told me to apologise. Then came the worst part. They were going to let that waitress spank me in the kitchen!!

My heart dropped as I couldn't believe that i was being spanked for doing nothing wrong.

I was dragged (by my ear) to the kitchen and forced over her lap. She then grabbed a spatula and hit me on the butt 30 times (i know the amount cos i was made to count them)

After the third one I was in tears. when she was done my mom grabbed my collar and pulled me through the restaurant and out of the door.

When we got home i went straight to bed. i got a spanking of my dad the next morning and one off my mom that afternoon.but the worst one was being spanked in front of all those people

My cousin hasnt let me forget it since by slapping my butt once everytime he sees me..The jerk.

Stumble

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FROM : Lindsay
Haha thats a funny story! i cant belive your parents are so mean. the worst ive ever gotten is like NOTHING!

FROM : ~sa~
oh my gosh, i feel so bad for you. that is not funny or embarassing, it is mean and cruel!!

FROM : someone
thats stupid

FROM : Hobo
S**T! your cousin is a bitch, ur parents are cruel and sadistic, and that isn't even funny. They're all muther ****ers! i hate 'em! i feel sorry for u.

FROM : some random guy
you can sue your cousin and the waitress for sexual harassment.

FROM : Diana
OMG! I cant believe your parents! If I was you, I would go to a teacher or a friend and tell them what your parents have been doing! Thats so cruel! I feel sorry for you. I wish you luck with parents like that!

FROM : jes call me anonymou
Whats wrong with your parents are they on drugs or something, big deal you forgot to burp or say please or what ever it was lol anyway....one (or two) words for you, CHILD ABUSE!!!

FROM : Julie
This is abuse...no one has the right to do this to you...not in public or private...I can imagine your embarrassment and pain...I don't think this is funny at all...It's abusive...

FROM : zulaikha
i would say he is more than a jerk. He should be thought a lesson. And that was not at all funny. Even if he was given the authority he should not have taken advantage of the situation. I say teach him a lesson for lying and being so MEAN..

FROM : D'Mandre
U NEED TO WHOOP HIS ASS!!!!

FROM : Slim
Off with his god damn head, fuck it.

FROM : Tyler
no offense but your parents sound crazy

FROM : Alysha
My cousin said her friend Kryslynd likes e.j.

FROM : hi
Don't tell me you all BELIEVE this LOAD of MALARKY!!! NO restaurant would EVER go along with that (public nudity...spanking...in a restaurant? GET REAL!!) And no parents would EVER do that in front of all those witnesses (hello! Police would have been called!!!) and NO waitress would randomly beat a kid with a spatuala just because "the mom told me to." GET REAL! This is some guys sick fantasy of getting publically spanked! And who gets babysat at 14????

FROM : drew
i know how you feel something like that happen but way worst i was in a restaurant with my parents i burp twice by accident and my dad pull my pant and underwear spanked in front of everyone and took my clothes and made walk to the butt naked and lot of people saw me mostly girls

FROM : Sweet Revenge.
Get a sharp Knife..., Wait until Scott is asleep..., Sneak up on him..., And castrate his sorry scrotum off of him. Run away laughing and show Mom and Dad. Rape the waitress and leave Scott's scrotum and balls there to frame him. He goes to prison and gets buttfucked by a guy named Bubba, who turns out to be his biological father. Becomes asnally pregnant and delivers an asshole baby who they name Mark Paul Thompson, after you, who made it all possible.

FROM : Mario
stuff like that makes good serial killers or child molesters, get it off your chest before going nuts

FROM : madison
that was so stupid that your parents would do that to you how sad!!!!! that is child abus eI will tell a teachee that people are sexually harassing you do that K?
good luck 2 u!!

FROM : Anonymous
i thought my parents were mean but that is bull shit

FROM : Anonymous
what the hell is wrong with your parents (mother) haven't they ever heard of two sides to every story. Thats crap and your parents need to made to feel humiliated just like you were. Thats BAD PARENTING

FROM : Anonymous
thats child abuse...its not even funny...you need tot ell someone...

FROM : SB
that story can't be real.....no one would sit around and watch a little kid me abused like that and not say anything. unless your whole town if full of jerks which i highly doubt.

FROM : wow
dude, ur parents suck beyond suckiness.
did u at least tell them what happened, and that u didn't do anythign wrong? if so, then wow, they are HORRIBLE!

FROM : joe
thats gay i dont beileve that parents and cousins aren't that mean

FROM : some random guy
was the waitress hot???

FROM : yeah right
there is no way any waitress in any restaurant anywhere spanks a fourteen year old boy in a restaurant kitchen. Or has one spanked on stage. you are lying.

FROM : Tallie
thats sexual harrassment. your cousin can be registered as a sex offender.

FROM : Hallie
TELL SOMEONE YOU TRUST! UR FAMILY IS F***ING ABUSIVE! Mark, you realize that Scott can be charged as a sex offender, right?

FROM : Hallie (again)
btw, i dont undertand why abuive parents like your even have children if they're going abuse them

FROM : Reality
Umm.. I think it was just a joke, people. Honestly now, can you picture something like this really happening at your local restaurant? I think not.

FROM : bobby mcbobbster
Once I fell on my butt, that hurt too, i know your pain man.

FROM : NO NAME PLEASE
Wow. That is no fair! And you got punished! That if aweful

FROM : Anonymous
omg you r such a liar i cant believe i beklieved thtat story you homo i bet charlie is yur boyfrend hmmm is he good in bed . . .

FROM : Anonymous
Anyone who thinks this is real is the real jerk here. This was written too well to come from a 14 year old. A stage, a spatula? Come on! This is just some pervert with a spanking fetish getting his jollies writing this crap. This is the most unrealistic story I've ever read on this site.

FROM : Anya
omg r u fur real?!?!?! i am soooooo sry for u god i would have just not went anywhere i would have ran god that must really suck and u r 14 man i feel so sry for u. why would u need a babysitrer at 14 i am 14 and i hadn't had a babysitter sience i was like 9. dude ur parents need to relize that they r tottaly jerks and ur cosion i would have punched his damn lights out (sry if i mispelled anything i can't type worth crap)

FROM : Marion Wilson
That's not funny at all.
That is abuse.
You should talk to someone about it.
Your parents and cousin humiliated you. I am disgusted with the three of them - actually, the four of them if you include the waitress. Why didn't you tell them that all you did was burp (and that could happen to anyone) and forget to say thankyou? That is assault and assault is illegal. Go talk to a teacher at school about it - they can help you there.

FROM : Curtis
Can't your parents hold their drink? That is abuse. It isn't funny, and abuse is NEVER okay. You forgot to say thankyou and you burped. Oh yeah. Big deal. Besides, the law says you don't need a abaysitter when ur 14 unless you have some extremely serious medical condition like epilepsy or something where it's dangerous to be left on your own.

I also think you should report to the waitress's employer (if he or she doesn't know already) that she did that. That is unproffessional behaviour.

What your parents did was completely unacceptable. Same with the waitress. Same with your cousin. You need to realise that and do something about it.

That wasn't funny at all, and I shall personally kick the arse of any pussy who laughs at it okay?

FROM : Anonymous
was the waitress hot if she was i would be happy :)

FROM : lauren
thats just mean
sorry

FROM : Caleb
Dude, your cousin is a bloody jerk. If I was you I'd be cooking up some sweet revenge. MUHAHAHAHA!

FROM : katlen
i am shocked

FROM : Anonymous
This is not in the least bit funny... this is abuse. 3 simple steps:

1. Talk to someone
2. buy gun
3. shoot mum, waitress, dad and cousin.

That waitress's behaivour was totally unproffessional. If I were you, I would go back to the restaurant or cafe or ring them up or whatever and talk to the owner or manager about what she did. That was totally unproffessional, and if I was her employer I would fire her immediately.

I also think you should talk to a trusted family member (not mum, dad or cousin) and tell them what happened. It was not okay for your cousin to lie like that when he was in a position of trust... It was also not okay for your parents to hit you like that. That is not funny... it is abuse. It is illegal.
It is an act of violence and humiliation and that is never okay.

Besides, if you really are fourteen, you don't need a babysitter... you are legally old enough to stay home without one.

FROM : Anonymous
Haha! too bad for you. any pictures? lol.
who need a babysitter at 14?

FROM : KootchyKootchyKoo
What happened was abuse on her part and his. She did wrong. She should have calmed down and asked what was going on. Instead she assumed that you were in the wrong instead of asking first.

FROM : no name
one word...REVENGE

FROM : Michael Wilson
That's awful man. Did you get revenge?

FROM : Anonymous
all 14 year olds deserve a spanking.

FROM : a person
omg ur parents are retards, if that happened to me i would take a spatula, wait till they're asleep, then smack them straight on the face with it full force, and punch that cousin until he bled, also anonymous if u think that u have a messed up life, no friends, and i hope u get a papercut on your balls and they fall off!

FROM : AllyPallyPooPaa!
ohhh u poor thing xxxxxxxxx
u reli need 2 get him back! may i suggest locking him outside naked (always a good one) or maybe putting all his undies in water n then in the freezer? good luck xx

FROM : Nobelieve
A couple of dumbasses may believe this story, but I don't. You liar.

FROM : Corey
I don't believe you. This is too ridiculous. No parent would let some waitress do that. Besides, if a waitress really did that they would get fired and that is abuse with a weapon. Next time, when making up a story, make it a little more believable.

FROM : Bill
3 spanks? was it bare butt? anyway that was funny haha!!

FROM : Bill
MAN!4spanking! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha man sorry i think ur story is the best haha (i cant stop laughing!!) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

FROM : kim
i think what u all did was cruel for f...k sakes its a child and your own son u are worse than criminals!!!!!!

FROM : Anonymous
WTF kick the crap out of that prick

FROM : Alan
Oh, wow! I also have a cousin, Scott, who is a total jerk. He is now 57, and it's hard to imagine an adult human being who is so incredibly clueless about everything. This bozo has a master's degree from the University of Maine, which says a mouthful about that institution. I can't begin to describe how out of touch with reality this clown is -- ya gotta see it to believe it!

In his defense, I must say that his parents played a large part in his being so fucked up. His late father was a latent homosexual who thought his only son should be a major-league ball player. So he spent countless hours throwing baseballs at Scott's head to teach him not to be afraid of the ball. Yeah, right!

Scott had only one talent which was music -- he was a natural, who could play piano by ear. But his parents thought he should be something more cerebral than a musician or choir director -- something like an engineer. But Scott could hardly do simple math, so that didn't work out too well. His father, with an associates degree, fancied himself and "engineer," so it was only natural that his gifted son should follow in his footsteps and even exceed him in this noble pursuit. Screw the music, Scott was destined for finer things.

So he became a teacher up in the great State of Maine. It's hard (and scary) to imagine this goofball up in front a class of children, but there he was. This lasted a couple years before the dim-witted Maine-iacs figured out this fool couldn't cut it.

So then he went on to a stellar career with the U.S. Postal Service. (Ever wonder why the mail is fucked up?)

I mentioned his father the closet queen, but his mother's attitudes about sex also helped craft his psyche. When she finally got around to toilet training him about the age of four, I can remember him standing in front of the toilet to pee, and when he reached down to grab his little dick, his mother (in her infinite wisdom) admonished him saying, "Never touch your wee-wee button." Gimme a fucking break, how is he supposed to get that thing in and out of his pants to take a leak?

I can also remember her telling how Scott came home from school in the 7th grade and told her he needed to have a jock strap for P.E. Her comment to him was, "What? For your little thing?" This she told an assembled group of relatives one evening when Scott was present.

Now there's a confidence builder for you. Whoa! No wonder the boy is seriously fucked up.

All this is only the tip of the iceberg; you've got to experience Scott to appreciate the depth of his ignorance, cluelessness and other-worldliness. But maybe this gives you a hint of what my cousin the jerk is actually like.

FROM : Anonymous
Id slit my parents eyes out along with my couszins if they ever did that to me.c fuking hell bring tears to there eyes, give them revenge.

FROM : :D
thats child abuse your parents are sick!

FROM : nonya
This story is a fantasy. The only way that this could EVER happen is if the storyteller were OVER 18 and attending a party geared specifically to fulfill these kinds of fantasies. Absolutely nothing wrong with having the fantasy or fulfilling it once you've reached 18!

FROM : Jill
Dude...you're 14 and you get spanked? OMFG!!! That's the funniest!!!!!

FROM : logan
i would have wanted a crossbow right then and there and i would have pulled it out when he grabbed me and said um i think im in control this time and then do the same to mom and dad except say ill lower the crossbow if you let me say my part of the story and dont say im lying and then ill lower my crossbow

FROM : REVEngE
FUck him

FROM : Harry
You should go to his house what until friends come over then dake him then dake his undies then spank him. p.s. if you do this hope he does not fart

FROM : Anonymous
FROM : zulaikha (2005-01-17 @ 15:35:12)
i would say he is more than a jerk. He should be thought a lesson. And that was not at all funny. Even if he was given the authority he should not have taken advantage of the situation. I say teach him a lesson for lying and being so MEAN..

...And your parents too!! What kind of idiots would threaten any kind of punishment and not make good & sure it was deserved?! They're all lucky you aren't like me, man... there would be blood!!

FROM : J.M.
Your cuzzin IS a f***ing jerk. I would put a hit out on him ,I know, eventually I would have a hitman have a little "friendly" visit with him, if it had been my cuzzin

FROM : Gabz
YOUR PARENTS, THE WAITE, AND ESPECIALLY YOUR COSIN IS A JERK!!!!!! Your parents for not asking, the waiter for not telling your parents, and your cousin for doing the whole thing

FROM : linna
If I had been the waitress,I would have heated the spatula and then spanked you with it.

FROM : Austin

Sounds as though you have to put up with a bunch of JERKS in your family!!

FROM : Anonymous
You should Kil him

FROM : me
jerk? more like bastard!

FROM : Heike
Ha..wow.

FROM : Polly
You have GOT to get revenge

FROM : someone
ur parents are mean!
i dont know how its at your place but my folks wouldnt even dare that!
cant u just take down ur parents and revolt or something?

FROM : dude
use the water-hand tric if hes asleep at his house 4 a sleepover

FROM : Anonymous
the waitress could get fired for that if it was reported to a manager and your cousin and parents can go to jail for abuse and your cousin for sexual harrasment

FROM : Me
Dude, run away from home to your grandmas or a friends house or something and don't go back until they've hearr what really happened and how abusive they are, if my cousin did that to me i'd punch him in the face and leave...

FROM : Mike R
omg im srry 4 saying this but ur parents are FUCKING ASSHOLES AND UR STUPID FAGGET OF A COUSIN ok i got that out of my system oh ya its also child abuise im 10 and dont have a baby sitter

FROM : omg
God bless you! i AM SO SRRY if my mom and dad saw my cousin spankin me they would spank him bless ur heart I am so sorry

FROM : gcfd
to anya.... he said i am 14 and IN MY YOUTH

FROM : Me
Ha wow what a dick i woulda kicked his ass,
you didnt even deserved to be spanked for that.
Wow i could understand if u bitched slapped the
waitress ha.

FROM : rootbeer
now im 13 and i dont think we shud get spanked soo yea if they try to spank u either grab the belt or grab there arm and yell at em and say im old enuf not to be whooped

FROM : Anonymous
wow revenge is probably sounding pretty good to you right now:D

FROM : Your cousin inhales
Your parents suck, no one deserves that at all (except for scott that evil, no good, big fat lying, granny panty inhaling jerk!!!)

FROM : faker
THIS STORY IS A LIE

FROM : I call BS
I call BS on everyone of these stories, growing up as a boy this stuff never happened, there are some sick people writing stories here

FROM : tam
hmmmm... does someone have a bit of spanking fetish? :)

FROM : Cassy
Wtf yeah right. The waitress wouldn'nt spanked u when she knew u did nothing. IT WAS A FUCKING accident. do me a favor and tell ur cousin hes a big fat ass. and tell ur parents what REALLY happened that night.

FROM : Molly
..............oh my ham! Your family is disfunctional! I would send assasins to my cousins house after that

FROM : Caine
LOL DUDE! I really don't think this is real. If it is your cousin deserves an ass whooping and a stab right in the back. Every time he slaps you, slap his ass right back, harder and tell your idiot assholes of parents what actually happened. Followed by running away from home

I am 11

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