Just One of Those Days

From: Mike


You know that Limp Bizkit song "Break Stuff" that says "It's just one of those days where you don't wanna wake up...it's just one of those days?" This is my day.

There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood, and all of them go to the same school district(middle school, high school, etc.) So we set up a lot of after-school games and stuff like that. One day, we decide to have a neighborhood game of "manhunt" (a glorified version of hide-and-seek tag) We set it for 4:00, and luckily I have almost no homework, so I get it done quick and go to get changed because I had spilled soda on myself by accident when I had gotten home.

Problem. Our washing machine had broken. So we did wash only a few times a week at the laundromat. My mom was out with the latest load, but unfortunately, all my boxers were in it. So, I was stuck with one of my old pairs of tighty-whities. I got adjusted to them fairly easy, though.

So, we get sorted into two teams of six. I was with my two friends, Jim and Rocko, and three girls from my school whom I didn't "hate" but didn't "like" either. Our team hid, but after someone found me I ran like heck. Unfortunately, I tripped running across a wet grassy area. I guess when I skidded across the grass, my shorts slid a bit down and I think my underwear was showing, becuase two of the girls on my team just stood for a second. I quick got up and ran for a new spot, though, and took a rest in the middle of the woods.

Unfortunately, I was breathing so heavy I didn't hear the three girls sneak up on me. Intially, I thought it was someone on the other team and I jumped a bit, but it was those girls. They stuffed their hands down my shorts and yanked my underwear as high as they could. I yelped a bit, then started squirming to get away from them, but they dragged me over to one of the trees and pinned my neck down. One of them held it down, another continued giving me an atomic wedgie, and the third one ran off to get the others.

Once the others were there, they all began laughing and took turns pulling my underwear up. After a few minutes of this, they got bored, so one of them had a "great" idea, and pulled down my shorts. Everyone laughed so freakin' hard and laughed stuff like "Heya, pimple-ass" (I had serious butt-acne back then) and "Mike IS a girl, he's wearing a thong!" Finally, it was getting a bit dark, and they all hoisted me up to a tree branch. I don't know how they pulled it off, but then they tied my underwear to the inside of a tree branch and tore off my shirt. They all ran home.

After a while, my underwear tore more and more and I finally fell off. After seriously hurting my ass, I realized half my underwear was still on the tree. The other half fell right off when I stood up. Freaked out, I ran home, trying to sneak back to my house without being caught. Sadly, there aren't too many back routes to my house, and some of the neighbors still saw me. Of course, they weren't too happy to see a pubescent teenage boy running stark naked through their yard and they began yelling at me. I didn't listen, but they ended up calling my folks anyway.

When I got home, I got razzed by my parents, and when I told them my story, they just blew it off. Plus, they called the parents of the kids I told them about and the story obviously didn't check out. So I got busted for two weeks-one for running around naked, the other for lying.

It's just one of those days

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